


Unwanted Visitors

by rainysea



Category: One Piece
Genre: Crack, Island life, unintentional royalty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 11:26:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainysea/pseuds/rainysea
Summary: Mihawk just wants to relax with a glass of wine when he gets back to Kuraigana, but it only kind of goes that way.
Relationships: Dracule Mihawk & Perona
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Unwanted Visitors

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago. There's probably inaccurate plot points or something, whatever. One of my resolutions this year is to actually post the fics I write, so here it it, dug up and dusted off.

The weather in Kuraigana was as dreary as ever. The sun was already high in the sky, but it remained chilly, overcast, and drizzling.

It was good to be back.

A good chunk of the reward he'd collected jingled in his pocket as he casually flung aside a humandrill, jacket billowing dramatically behind him.

Best of all, he no longer had to concern himself with his idiotic pupil hell-bent on killing him one day. Ah, free time to drink wine and glower at the walls was such a luxury. Perona had also failed to return after escorting said pupil to Sabaody. She had been unsure if and when she would return, and enough time had passed that Mihawk had concluded she would not.

He stalked gallantly up the steps to the front doors, pausing a minute to dodge another humandrill, and made to fling them open.

Instead, he ungracefully ran into the door as something was against the other side. Frowning, he shoved only a little harder, not wanting to break the doors, and the they slowly moved as he slid whatever blocking it aside.

He frowned as he looked at the old china cabinet that had been shoved there as he shut the doors behind him.

He ignored the ground entry rooms to either side and went down the hallway, his footsteps echoing in the spacious stone rooms. He was almost passed the open doorway of the dinning room when he stopped short. He did not turn his head, as his peripheral vision was enough to see.

There was a giant zombie bear sitting at the head of the table. _His_ usual spot. It had a hat. His mistake then.

Perona was back.

He gave an almost inaudible sigh and continued on up the grand staircase to his room. Along the way, he found more evidence of her return. Drat. He'd have to drink wine and glower at the wall with Perona glowering at him.

He gave a passing thought to insisting she leave, but, well, damn these slight feelings of affection he'd developed for her and his pupil. She clearly had no where else to go for the moment.

So when out of the corner of his eyes he spied one of her ghouls peaking around a corner at him, he ignored it.

In his room, he shed his swords, hat, and coat, grabbed an extra set of clothes and made for the giant bathroom to wash the grime of the last couple weeks off him and decided a nap couldn't hurt.

It wasn't long before he awoke to a banshee's scream, which Perona kind of was. He was unable to make out her words as they echoed through the castle as her voice went too high for comprehension.

He didn't bother with Yoru; whatever wasn't cute enough to cause Perona's caterwauling, his kogatana would no doubt be enough He groggily toed on some shoes.

Which he regret as soon as he got to the top of the stairs. He stopped short, startled. There was a ridiculously strong presence and Mihawk knew immediately he'd have trouble being a match. Perona was screeching at whoever it was.

Mihawk started to hurry down the stairs and then almost tripped when it dawned on him who it was. He blamed not recognizing him immediately on the sleep clouding his brain.

He was still out of sight. He could just go back upstairs and pretend to sleep, but then the man would probably come up and make himself at home next to him.

However, Perona's screeching was getting a little out of hand as everything echoed in this castle. Shanks's voice could be heard, trying to interject but Perona was having none of it. Mihawk rooted Perona on, a sudden new respect blooming for her. If she could get him to shut up, she certainly deserved it. He moved closer where he could better make out her words.

“Hawk-eyes won't be pleased to see anything rearranged, give that back now!”

“This is me giving it to you, notice how my arm is extended-”

“I'm not your maid!” Perona cut him off. “You got it out, you can very well put it back!”

“You're making my neck hurt looking at you up there, come down and have a glass with me, won't you?” Ah, Perona was in ghost form, otherwise she'd surely have snatched whatever it was from him.

“I'll do whatever I want in my castle!” She shouted. Her castle, huh? Technically, it wasn't even _his_ , but Mihawk didn't really mind. He could do without the stuffed zombies though. “You just march on back to the New World. Don't you have islands to guard?!” She gave a little gasp as she must have realized something. “Where's your crew, anyway? They finally give up on you?” Perona demand, sounding nervous, but Mihawk could only tell because he had heard her berate Zoro for pushing himself too hard. The more nervous or worried she was, the louder she screeched.

Shanks’s laugh moved as he headed towards the cellar. Wine then. Or he was going to get more. “Oh, whoops-”

“I told you!”

“I'm just teasing, see it's right-” Shatter. Great. One less bottle of wine on the wall.

Put back the wine? That sounded unlike him- wait. Mihawk slowly backed up.

“Hawk-eyes!” Too late, Shanks popped out from behind the door frame. “What're you lurking there for?”

“What are you lurking _here_ for?” Mihawk responded.

“Ah ha ha, touche!” Shanks flung his arm over Mihawk's shoulders and dragged him over into the dinning room where Perona was hovering over Zoro's chair. There was some cheese and cured meat from the cellar set out. “Clearly, you've made yourself at home,” Mihawk commented.

Shanks shoved him into a chair and sat right up next to him to the point he was in his space. The wine he was currently opening was his second, a fine variety from West Blue, and he appeared to have already downed the one from Dresrossa. Just how long had he even been here anyway? Or maybe the question was-

“Just how long were you planning to nap? You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you.”

Mihawk scowled. Looking at him while he slept. “How creepy.”

“Aw, Hawk-eyes, don't be like that, you weren't bothered the last time sleeping curled up at my side!” Shanks gave a hearty laugh.

Mihawk's eye twitched. He'd had too much of the mead Shanks had picked up from who knows where.

Perona looked unsure whether to gasp or laugh.

Mihawk sighed. “You might as well sit and join us,” he addressed her, meaning, 'you might as well get in your real body'. Shanks really didn't need to know exactly what she could do.

Perona was still frowning, but all of her tension from having come back from her walk in the rain to a Yonko in the dining room left when Mihawk didn't really seem concerned Shanks was there. She floated out of the room via the doorway to wherever her body was.

“Quite loud and excitable, isn't she?” Shanks laughed. He gestured at the bear at the head of the table. “Who's this? Tried asking,... He didn't answer.”

Mihawk rolled his eyes. “Kumashi, apparently.” Sitting next to the bear up close, he could see it looked like a large version of the bear she'd dragged around for two years. That explained Perona's detained return; she must have run into Thriller Bark. Or something. _God_ , he knew the bear's name. Maybe this really _was_ Perona's castle. “You'll have to ask Perona if he still speaks.”

“He no longer does,” Perona walked in and sat down across from them. “Sadly.”

Mihawk would've demanded she move him, but it could wait until Shanks was gone.

Shanks poured the other two their own glasses. “Much better with other people here to drink with, although I had fun sitting in front of the giant window in the front room pretending I ruled all, instead of just a part of the New World!” Shanks gave a hearty laugh. “Quite the show!”

Indeed, darkness had set in, along with a thunder storm. Lightening flashed ominously.

“Awful dark in here though, I couldn't find many candles.”

“Is it?” Mihawk was used to the darkness, relying on a candle or two at night, as was Perona. Mihawk didn't think Zoro had really noticed whether it was day or night, rainy or sunny. “Perona, get some more candles.”

Perona looked a little baffled. “I'm not sure where they are.” She glanced at the large chandelier above them. There were some candles that were close to melted down in it, unusable. Surely there were replacements for it? But having never bothered with it, Mihawk didn't know where that would be.

Shanks looked exasperated and got up to poke around.

Mihawk remembered the cabinet. “Why was the cabinet pushed against the door?” he asked quiet enough for Shanks not to hear.

Perona pouted. “I was here by myself. Who knows who might have come looking for you,” she stated with a pointed look at Shanks's back.

Mihawk leaned forward slightly. “And you thought a china cabinet would keep the likes of him out?”

“You know very well it was more for my peace of mind than any actual barricade. If someone violently forced their way in, I would have heard the dishes break.”

“There were dishes in it?” Mihawk asked mildly. He'd always just used the plain dishes that were in the kitchen. Now that he thought about it, those had probably been the dishes the servants had used.

“Of course there were. I wouldn't have used it had it been empty!”

Shanks came back with a candelabra, extra candles and matches, and sat down to set them up. “I'll admit,” he gave a slight chuckle, “I'm not following the logic of either of you.”

“Then by all means, leave.”

“Aw, I didn't say I wasn't entertained!” he grinned broadly at Mihawk. He struck a match that lit up his face eerily, his grin becoming more sinister as he lit a wick. It disturbed Mihawk a bit, who had never seen Shanks look anything close to sinister. Seriously determined, angry, but never sinister. He was suddenly reminded he was a Yonko and could do serious damage to Mihawk.

How that had even come about in the first place still baffled Mihawk. Then again, he hadn't seen him in a fight since he'd lost his arm, so whenever news of Shanks's defeat of some big-wig had reached him, he had a hard time imagining it. Shanks was still the guy who was moderately good with a sword that couldn't beat Mihawk in a sword fight, but with the potential to. Even though Shanks had long outgrown that version of himself, it was the one that stuck with Mihawk.

“Now then” Shanks settled back after lighting up at least seven candles too many. Mihawk and Perona had to squint as their eyes adjusted. He picked up his glass and raised it. “Uh... to friends, new and old!”

Neither Mihawk nor Perona picked up their glasses.

“I'm not your friend,” Mihawk stated.

“I'm not toasting to that,” Perona said a heartbeat after.

“You know very well we are friends,” Shanks shot at Mihawk, although Mihawk thought he looked a tad bit hurt for a moment, but it was so fleeting he might have imagined it. “And clearly you know this young lady. Would you two just toast already?!” he ended in exasperation.

Mihawk and Perona reluctantly picked up their glasses.

“To friendship!” Shanks said, thrusting his glass forward to clink.

Mihawk and Perona reluctantly clinked, each mumbling something that may or may not have been about friendship.

“I didn't hear you!” Shanks bellowed out. He leaned over the table at Perona. “Say it!”

“Friendship!” Perona shouted in his face when he wouldn't let up.

Shanks sat back, satisfied. He sliced some cheese and meat. “So, you guys survive on just preserved meat and cheese? Not much to eat 'round here.”

“Of course there wasn't,” Perona scoffed.

“Why's that?”

“I was away,” both Mihawk and Perona said at the same time.

  
  


  
  


  
  


A ridiculous amount of wine later, mostly downed by Shanks, the man could hardly sit upright in his seat. He'd long since stopped going down the long corridor to the bathroom and had just started going over to the window to pee out into the weeds outside.

“-a than..measne, zhesh bac-” Shanks gestured wildly.

Mihawk and Perona were by nature less inclined to drink excessively although they both enjoyed wine. In moderation. Mihawk and Perona both had only drunk a glass or two more than usual.

Perona eyed him with a look of half doubt and half that she was looking at something- “Very un-cute. Does he know he's still talking? And that it's just gibberish?”

“He'll talk himself out,” Mihawk said. “Maybe.”

“Hubit!” Shanks exclaimed, thwacking Mihawk on the shoulders. Mihawk winced. That had _hurt_. He'd have a bruise tomorrow. “Phas in ut...” he rambled on.

“Why is this in my seat,” Mihawk eyed Kumashi. No time like the present. “It's a corpse.”

Perona nodded sadly. “Moria-sama animated it with a shadow after Hogback stitched it back together. But without a shadow, it's just a corpse.” She brightened. “But a cute one.”

“I'm throwing it out if it starts to smell. And find somewhere else to put it. The front room perhaps. Or your room. Yes, that would be best.” Out of sight, out of mind.

“What if he _does_ start to smell? I don't want that smell in my room! The front room then.”

Mihawk didn't say anything, but Perona knew that his silence was his agreement. “Where did you find it, anyway?”

“Ey!” Shanks gestured. “'Nt ne ee!” he was looking a cross between amused, disgusted, and nauseous. The first two from Mihawk and Perona's conversation, the other from the alcohol. “Ee-aw!” He broke into a giant yawn in Mihawk's face before he slumped over the gap between Mihawk and Shank's high-backed chairs onto his side.

“...He probably has the right idea,” Perona said as they stared at his spectacle. “I think I'll sleep.” It wouldn't be long until the sun would be supposedly up, but at the rate the rain was pouring, it wouldn't get much brighter.

Mihawk nodded. “Just help me-”

Perona was already out of the room. “You're on your own with the crazy Yonko.”

Mihawk stared after her a moment, sighed and nudged Shanks off his shoulder.

He fell to the floor with a thud that roused him. “Wha-?” he looked blearily up at Mihawk who had stood up.

“C'mon, you can use any of the rooms upstairs-” Mhawk stated and then kicked himself for saying that. “The couch in the front room you can-”

“Eaw nawh,” Shanks reached up a hand and yanked himself up using Mihawk's arm as leverage. “'m 'oin' ish ye,” he flung his arm around Mihawk and groped him.

“Whatever,” Mihawk stated, slowly making his way upstairs. Shanks clinging for dear life to him, slowing him down.

“In ey hen nk,” Shanks had his mouth close to Mihawk's ear and was whispering exaggeratedly.

“It's still just coming out as gibberish,” Mihawk told him, stopping to kick open the door of an unused room. Everything had sheets over it, but at least the bed was made in this room. Mihawk dumped the Yonko on it and yanked the blanket over him. “Rest,” he demanded. Shanks looked as if he might protest, so he left him there.

Mihawk washed up and put on the clothes he slept in before turning in. He was still tired from his journey even though he hadn't done much since he'd arrived back.

He'd fallen into a doze before being started awake by something grasping at him.

Getting a hold of himself, he realized in the flashes of lightening Shanks had managed to drag himself to his room and collapsed next to him, arm and leg thrown over him.

Mihawk exhaled noisily through his nostrils but let it be. Goddamn cuddler.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


When Shanks came back from 'exploring', whatever that meant, Mihawk had just come back from practicing a new move. He had to keep improving lest Roronoa come along unexpectedly and chop his head off. Mihawk was slouched in a lounge chair in the side room Perona refereed to as the Drawing Room. Perona's body was slumped over. She'd probably gone tracking Shanks, but she continued to surprise him, so who knew.

“Ah, tea,” Shanks said, spotting the tea set Perona had apparently fixed herself on a low table. He poured himself a cup and walked to sit across from her. The room was large, but had great acoustics. “Cold though,” he made a face. “Is she alright?”

Mihawk had picked up the latest paper the News Coo had delivered. That damn bird was making a fortune delivering the news to just Mihawk and Perona, as Kuraigana was on the way to precisely nowhere. He started scanning it lazily. “Don't let her hear that.”

“Quite the palace you have here, you're practically a king,” Shanks said. “Who's subjects are a bunch of humandrills.”

Mihawk snorted. “Please don't fight with them. They learn quickly.” The last thing he needed was to be forced to fight with a bunch of Shanks doppelgangers on a regular basis.. Or would that be good training?

“Haha, no really, you've taken over the king's private chambers, Perona has squirreled herself away in a tower that clearly belonged to a princess and I assume Zoro was in that room down the hall. According to the history I read, it was the head knight's quarters, who incidentally, was also the crown prince who went on a quest and never came back.”

“He better not come back,” Mihawk muttered.

“Don't say that, King Dracule, I know you're just worried about your son. Perhaps if you went to Marijoa and officially identified yourself, you'd offer him a bit of protection, no?” Shanks took a gulp.

Perona sat up with a sudden gasp, making Shanks jump and spit out his mouthful all over the table. “I was already a princess and most certainly didn't need Hawk-eyes approval to become one!” She snapped at him. “Go get me a fresh pot, since you just spit all over mine. “

Shanks choked a bit, thumping his chest. “What is with you?” he wondered aloud, bemused, between chokes. He got up to humor her and get more tea.

  
  


  
  


  
  


Shanks stayed a few more days, before he suddenly went on his way with a cheery wave. The two went back to their sleepy days and dark nights.

  
  


  
  


  
  


Perona was peering out from behind some overgrown hedges. Clearly she wanted something, but unsure if she should interrupt his practice or not. She seemed a little anxious. “Yes?” he inquired as he parried. No one knew it, but when practicing against an imaginary opponent he often pictured it as Miles, stabbing at him viciously. He'd been a cruel bastard that had humiliated him and taught him a lot in the worst ways possible. He was far too forthcoming with Zoro; Miles was a bastard that had deserved everything that come to him. That was a long time ago though, maybe he should start envisioning Zoro? Nah, the boy still had a long way to go.

“There's a ship anchored not far from the southeast, they started for shore in a dingy.”

Mihawk paused. “Let the humandrills deal with them. If they make it here we'll send them on their way.”

  
  


  
  


  
  


“State your business,” Mihawk demanded, coming out of the shadows. Random acquaintances and nuisance pupils aside, he didn't like entertaining visitors here.

“Ah, King Mihawk,” the entourage bowed.

Mihawk's eyebrow raised in an almost twitch.

“May I present my sire, Prince Edmondanial of Sor,” and a lad with too many frills on his clothes gave an exaggerated bow.

Mihawk continued to stare, unsure of what to make of them. One of Perona's ghouls few overhead.

“Honorable King, I have come as a suitable suitor for your lovely daughter.”

Mihawk was suddenly reminded of the ridiculous comments Shanks had made while they walked the halls, and gave an internal groan. Shanks must have taken his own sweet time back to the New World, stopping here and there to spin tales. Unfortunately Shanks was too well feared as a Yonko for anyone to know that he was actually full of shit.

“Gather your people and don't return- I'm no king and you're unwelcome here,” he demanded.

  
  


  
  


  
  


They weren’t inclined to listen, thinking with the number of soldiers they brought they could force their hand or something. In the end, Perona had taken care of them rather brilliantly. Mihawk cast them out to sea; it was a gamble whether they’d find help, or become victims of a sea king.


End file.
